The Facebook profile of Steven “Petey” Peterson died peacefully in his computer on October 15, 2017 in Pewaukee, Wisconsin at the age of 7 years old.
Steven’s profile is survived by his parent, Steven Peterson; siblings, Kyle and Matt. He is preceded in death by all 810 of his friends.
Steven’s profile was born on January 16, 2010 in Pewaukee, Wisconsin to Steven Peterson. He graduated from Facebook Profile Tutorial in 2011 with a degree in Completeness. He happily married Free Time, his longtime admirer in 2010. After moving to his iPhone, Steven’s profile began working for Procrastination as CEO. Over 7 years, the couple welcomed countless hours of wasted time into their home and Steven’s profile set about teaching them the family business, Wasting Time. His children remember him as a sometime pointless, sometimes useful account who encouraged them to watch pointless videos.
Steven’s profile was accomplished at ‘trying to act cool’ and often portrayed only the best things in Steven’s life. He was a fake representation of someone who loved distracting Steven from important things and who was passionate about showing the world only the quality aspects of Steven’s life. Steven’s profile was an active and dedicated member of the Facebook world and often volunteered at Family Photo Albums.
A funeral is scheduled for October 19, 2017 at M107, with a reception to follow online. The World Wide Web will officiate the ceremony. All are welcome to attend and celebrate Steven’s profile’s life. In lieu of flowers, please keep them digital and on the memorialized account of Steven’s profile. Condolences can be sent to Facebook Messenger. The family would like to thank Mark Zuckerberg for his efforts in making Steven’s profile live on through the years.
“I was terribly sad to hear about Steven’s profile. I remember the days of spending hours with Steven’s profile. We used to hang out every single day starting in 2010. It feels like just yesterday that Steven’s profile was born. He opened up so many new experiences for me: messaging, current events, and videos to name a few. Steven’s profile will be greatly missed, but the memorialized account will live forever. RIP Steven’s profile. You may be gone, but your binary code and encrypted information will live on. ”
– Steven Peterson, Creator
Feel free to share your favorite memories with Steven’s profile.
Millennial Thoughts 